21 Oct 2014 00:30 | 101 notes | Reblog

Jonghyun twitter updates 14 / 10 / 20

@realjonghyun90Everyday everyday everyday everynight too much worries rumors interferences surrounded me

everyday everyday everyday everynight
But I am fresh got out of the sieve‑frame yes tonight

The last line was actually
You scoop out of it and go along with it yes tonight
I wanted to write like this

N/: That’s part of Pretty Boy lyrics.

@realjonghyun90:  But it was not suitable with our angel Taem …☆★

tr: thaluuu

20 Oct 2014 03:55 | 22 notes | Reblog


Yo, so I had my formal recently,

*sits stunned in the face of dazzling prettiness* *realises eyes are tearing up* wtf someone needs to put you on the front cover of a magazine, girl :) also, love the hair
19 Oct 2014 07:35 | 0 notes | Reblog

Queerness and Female Empowerment in Fanfiction

Like most Kpop fans, I read fanfiction. A lot of it, in fact. 

There are many, many times I have thought of rec-ing tics on tumblr or about making a remark on certain trends in fanfiction, but I’ve always refrained. For fuck’s sake, I write fanfiction (and pretty good fanfiction, at that) but I’ve never recced my own fics because I don’t want to be associated with that part of fandom.

There is, even amongst people who write an read fanfiction, a certain reluctance to be identified as one. Artists make fun of us. I remember seeing a clip of someone from SJ lamenting the general plot of fanfics, asking why it was that people always wrote him kissing Ryeowook. 

Even in countries where gayness isn’t much of an issue anymore (unlike Korea), this whole fanfic thing gets the short end of the stick. People see fanfic writers as lunatics with no-life, the sort of creature that’s overweight, frumpily dressed and unable to get their own life together, but who nurtures this weird fantasy of seeing her object of affection fuck/get fucked by another man (it’s never femslash that’s objected to, only male/male pairings). (Note: there’s nothing wrong with being overweight or frumpy). They never expect those who can excel within their patriarchal framework/those who are outwardly compliant with it to be fic-cers; the young barrister who escapes from her stressful workplace by writing about gentle Taekey taking care of each other, or the mother with two children who’s frustrated with her husband for not doing his share of the housework who writes about Onho being single parents and having bed-breaking sex. 

It’s always disturbed me whenever interviewers or celebs make fun of fan work, because I always had this idea that fanfiction is not for them, it’s for us. It’s us queers and women and teenage girls exploring sexuality in a narrative that isn’t one presented to us by middle-aged men trying to take our money without trying to understand us in the first place. 

And today, I read an article that expresses that thought much better than I could have. 

Please read it. 


Also, drop me a line in my askbox if you wanna guess who I am (I’m on AFF, if that helps) and if you get it right, I’ll tell you :P 

16 Oct 2014 02:49 | 276 notes | Reblog


Key & Locket’s ;;

/Yep, i know that the last girl is Arisa but i’m pretty sure she became a locket then/

14 Oct 2014 09:24 | 10 notes | Reblog

I miss this hair. I had purple hair for a while,and I was thinking about making it permanent after school, as I could only have “unnatural” colours  during the holidays. Should I make this permanent?

looks really good, and if you miss this go ahead :)


I miss this hair. I had purple hair for a while,and I was thinking about making it permanent after school, as I could only have “unnatural” colours during the holidays. Should I make this permanent?

looks really good, and if you miss this go ahead :)
14 Oct 2014 02:24 | 14 notes | Reblog

I love these pants!!!!! His legs look soooo nice #jonghyun #shinee

I saw the glory of god in those pants


I love these pants!!!!! His legs look soooo nice #jonghyun #shinee

I saw the glory of god in those pants
12 Oct 2014 15:38 | 0 notes | Reblog

The Horror of Discovering the Limitations of Your Loved Ones

"As a child there’s a horror in discovering the limitations of the ones you love. The time you find that your mother cannot keep you safe, that your tutor makes a mistake, that the wrong path must be taken because the grown-ups lack the strength to take the right one … each of those moments is the theft of your childhood, each of them a blow that kills some part of the child you were, leaving another part of the man exposed, a new creature, tougher but tempered with bitterness and disappointment." ~ Martin Lawrence, King of Thorns.

Warning: Long Rambling Rant Ahead about Various Things.

The past month has been a very ‘interesting’ time in the kpop world. I saw a quote earlier about how we wake up these days wondering who’s left, who’s suing who, who’s been arrested, who died, and the truth of it struck me.

I used to be excited about going on tumblr to see what cuteness my bias/bias group has done or what new show/ interview they’d filmed. Nowadays, I cross my fingers and say a prayer that nothing of significance happens. I’m quite happy for SHINee to do absolutely fucking nothing than risk a scandal/injury/departure.

I’m taking Luhan’s departure so much worse than I imagined I would. I think the fact that he was so obviously sick beforehand is what sickens me - that SM literally used this poor boy until he couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t even stand upright, and then had the guts to say they were caught by surprise by his lawsuit when even the fans knew there was a deadline.

I was also shocked by Jessica’s removal from SNSD, because I always thought that SM treasured SNSD beyond any other band they had.

My mum doesn’t approve of my interest in kpop. She thinks it’s too extreme - nevermind that I spend more than 12 hours a day at work, have a cat to take care of, books to read and friends to socialise with - and that I could be using the time to ‘better myself’. She thinks that my interest in kpop should be limited to watching their music videos and…and that’s pretty much it.

I’ve tried explaining before that the music videos are just a part of why I like them, like, they’re the opening gambit; the first five minutes of the movie that either convinces you to stick it out for the whole two hours or to switch the channel.

I tried it when Kris left. I tried explaining to her about SM’s slave contracts and how the managers don’t even let the idols eat sometimes. She said that it was only fair, since they have to maintain their bodies. I knew she was being contrarian for the sake of it, so I didn’t pursue the conversation.

I brought up the Luhan thing at dinner tonight. It’s just…it’s such a big part of my life and I want to share it with somebody (none of my friends are interested), so I explained it to her.

And her reaction: You know, when you told me you were gay, it was like a death sentence. You promised me that you would get involved with some NGO or cause so that I can explain to my relatives/friends/neighbours why you aren’t settling down (the idea of me getting a girlfriend and marrying her seems to have flown over my mother’s head) but you’re wasting your time with this.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so betrayed in my life.

I’ve always seen my mum as my best friend, and as the person who’ll have my back no matter what. When my friends were falling out with their parents in their terrible teens, I got along with mine famously. We could talk about everything - save my sexuality, of course. I didn’t attach the label ‘bisexual’ to myself until I was in uni, but I sort of knew instinctively that telling anyone that I fantasised about snogging my bestie in the girl’s bathroom was a no-no.

And now, I find that door shut to me. All I wanted was to have one conversation about what was a pretty eventful month in kpop. I wanted to tell someone what SM had done to Luhan (a son someone had raised, full of love, only to have SM abuse and overwork him to the point where he faints onstage).

I don’t tell her anything about SHINee, not after she called Hello Baby a ‘stupid show’. I know I won’t be able to take her saying mean things about my source of strength these days - Key - and how I wish I were half as brave as him. I don’t tell her how I look for parallels between the expression of queerness in kpop and in my life. It’s not a superficial interest. I don’t like them or get interested in their lives because they’re pretty, I like them because they’re struggling through the same things I am.

I don’t know what hurts more - that she sees my sexuality as ‘a death sentence’ or that she’s so absolutely adamant not to show the slightest bit of interest in something that means a lot me.

Just so frustrated right now.

12 Oct 2014 12:53 | 14 notes | Reblog



The dramas of the year is not by KBS, SBS, or MBC but by SME lol It’s named “The Bloody Lawsuit” starring SM’s staff,Luhan, Kris, and others. The other dramas are “The Room with the View of Hell” “Staircase of Satan” and “Pond of Death” starring SM’s artist. Jolly splendid. We need to applaud them…

I read this in Eddie Izzard’s voice :)
10 Oct 2014 13:04 | 3,177 notes | Reblog


An Exo-L(pictures from twitter)

This is Luhan, the caring Luhan.

10 Oct 2014 12:15 | 1 note | Reblog



I’ve been thinking about this all day.

This isn’t a surprise to me, since I’ve been following the thread on OneHallyu, but the confirmation hit hard when it came. I’m not even a Luhan fan or EXO fan, I just thought he seemed decent, and if I’m taking it hard then it must be so, so painful for EXO fans.

My brief (and unasked for) thoughts on the scandal are these:-

1. that EXO has been hit by scandals and injuries far sooner than I would have thought. In a 12 member band it’s inevitable that someone will leave, but to think that it happened within 3 years of their debut is unbelievable.

2. that SM better get its shit together - at the close of the Korean bourse today, JYP (I think it’s JYP) had taken over as the No. 1 entertainment company in Korea - and the fall in the value of shares was more than 15%.

3. I’d ask for Lee Soo Man to come back, but the man’s just lost his wife and he doesn’t have the best track record with artists either.

4. SHINee. Everytime I see a post about SHINee being the last band standing, I want to kill the poster for jinxing it. It’s not the most rational reaction, one that is born of this fear that SHINee aren’t as happy as they let on, and I’d be wrecked if anything happens to SHINee right now.

5. I’m glad that Luhan got out, and that he’s finally getting time to heal, but it’s a tragedy that he’s no longer part of EXO. I’ll miss his cute little face.

09 Oct 2014 09:07 | 0 notes | Reblog

Where are all the Halloween themed fics?

Then again, reality is a lot scarier than any fiction at the moment, isn’t it?